About Me
I'm a Melbourne boy, hailing from St Kilda with one ex, one current wife and four kids. Love the outdoors and making new discoveries. I cook a lot at home (cheers from wife) and do some preserving, mostly jams, pickles and fruit liqueurs. This is the diary of a cooking journey.

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Friday, December 09, 2005
No Bull
One of my mates N. has three daughters, two of them are in their twenties and one of them traveled extensively overseas. As is the way with these things, she met and fell in love with a Spaniard, living with him and his family for a while before returning to Australia with the boy in tow.

As a bloke I can't say I really understand the appeal of Spanish men, but there is a certain something about them. Watch Flamenco and you will know what I mean, the intensity and control, the strutting, arrogant way they move, all right I'll say it ~ their manliness.

Chatting with N. one day, he revealed that the Spaniard had charmed the knickers off his other two daughters and his wife ~ no, not literally ~ with the Spaniard barely able to speak English. Wanting to help I told, N. about a Spanish grocery shop, Casa Iberica in Fitzroy, thinking that if the Spaniard had something to do, well you know the story about the devil making work for idle hands.

N. told me that the Spaniard had cooked for him already, something with potatoes. "Tortilla", I ventured. "That's it", he replied. Told him it contained potatoes, onions and eggs, N. said there were no onions as they gave him bad wind, but opined it was very tasty.

Like most other European nations, the Spanish still like their offaly bits. When I traveled through France, one of the things I remember, besides the lurid displays in the butcher shops ~ who would think to display offal in a way to resemble women's genitalia ~ was eating testicles. Not unlike sweetbreads in texture, it's something that I'm unlikely to eat again, as I recall there was a tear in my eye with every bite.

Two of my mates traveled to Spain to have a look around. They did a few things together and some apart. One of them went to the bull fights to check it out, while the other went to a soccer match. After the fight my mate was hungry and looking for somewhere to eat, located a restaurant built into the bull ring, went in and spoke to the waiter."

"What have you got."

"Ze special of the day, Senor."

"What's that?"

"Don't ask, I will just bring, si?"


What came out were round pieces of meat, in a sauce, that looked like they had been carved off something about the size of a grapefruit. My mate being adventurous tucked in and thought it quite delicious.

"What is it?"

"You know when ze bull, he lose, we serve 'is manliness, you know, 'ow you say, 'is testicles."

He thought it was pretty funny and decided to invite his much less adventurous mate to the next fight, to get a reaction, so the next week, after much persuading, his mate came. After the fight , they took a seat in the restaurant.

"We will have the special thanks."

"Si, Senor."

The waiter soon returned with a large dish that had plenty of sauce, but only two small pieces of meat about the size of walnuts.

"Waiter, there must be some mistake, I was here last week and ordered the same dish. It came with much bigger pieces of meat."

"Si, Senor, that's right, you see sometimes the bull, 'e wins."
  posted at 7:40 am


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