About Me
I'm a Melbourne boy, hailing from St Kilda with one ex, one current wife and four kids. Love the outdoors and making new discoveries. I cook a lot at home (cheers from wife) and do some preserving, mostly jams, pickles and fruit liqueurs. This is the diary of a cooking journey.

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Broad Beans - It's Spring
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Here Kitty
Blue Corn Prawns & Mexican Style Salad
Fooled You
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Heart & Soul

1001 Dinners 1001 Nights
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Cooked And Bottled In Brunswick
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essjay eats
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Steve Don't Eat It!
That Jess Ho
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Thyme for Cooking
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tummy rumbles
What I Cooked Last Night
where's the beef
Vicious Ange

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Autism Victoria
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St Kilda Today

Friday, September 14, 2007
Nicely Does It!
When I was younger and dating, hearing, "You're really nice, but..." was the kiss of death. It left me in somewhat of a quandary as I watched several women who said this go on to form relationships that they later had cause to regret, relationships with men who simply weren't nice, rather tough, rugged and uncompromising, or at least that's how they liked to think of themselves. Being nice as a man hasn't always been regarded as the ultimate fashion accessory, for some it can in fact be undesirable, a fault even.

But as you get older, things change. Nice holds far more promise than it once did. A mate of mine who was recently searching for a new partner, used to check out the singles column in the local paper and he would show me the ones that sounded interesting. What struck me was that invariably a majority of women would stipulate that they wanted a nice man...what a difference a few more years makes!

Nice has always been in style, it's just rather diaphanous and easy to miss, especially so, when contrasted against seething testosterone in full flight, like Gordon Ramsey for instance. It was amazing to watch several female food bloggers swooning over him on a recent visit to Australia, then, to watch him give it to some poor waiter or line cook in the neck. Every one of them defended him and said he was charming (read nice), but that's rather like a fox that has convinced the chickens he means no harm and is really a swell fellow; the real question is, does he behave charmingly all the time or only when it suits his purposes?

What has brought on this discourse about niceness, is a meme in which my friend mom-nos has been nominated as a nice person, and in turn has nominated me, which really chuffs me, especially coming from her. Mom-nos, like me, has a child with autism, so we are traveling a road somewhat different to the norm, which at times can be particularly taxing, even though it's so rewarding as well. It's not that important to me that people should see me as being nice, what gives me a kick is when people react to niceness as though it were so unexpected, which sadly these days, it seems to be. Being nice is far less of a drain on one's emotional resources than being angry for instance, and makes a difference to people around you, everyone gets a lift.

Nice matters!

This award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. Once you’ve been awarded, please pass it on to 7 others who you feel are deserving of this award.

Of course there are way to many nice bloggers that I'm pleased to know and it seems a little difficult to single out just seven bloggers, but the people I'd like to pass this award onto are:

Tanna from My Kitchen In Half Cups
Kalyn from Kalyn's Kitchen
Ellie from Kitchen Wench
Anh from Food Lover's Journey
Gigi from Lotus Martinis
Ed from Tomato
Lydia from The Perfect Pantry
  posted at 8:44 am

At 12:50 pm, Blogger Lydia (The Perfect Pantry) said...

Aw, gee, Neil -- thank you so much.

At 1:37 pm, Blogger Kalyn Denny said...

That's funny, I was going to write exactly what Lydia wrote! But truly, thanks so much, and I love the company I'm keeping too. What an honor to be in that group.

At 7:48 pm, Blogger MyKitchenInHalfCups said...

It's because you bring out the best in people Neil. I like the idea that nice gives us an uplift in energy not a drain.
Thank you very much. I feel in excellent company!

At 1:02 am, Blogger Blue Zebra said...

Neil I was gonna write, "Nice Post!" lol but stopped myself. I think Frank Burns said it best on an episode of M*A*S*H, "It's nice to be nice to the nice..." ;)

I for one am glad those angst driven days of youth and self-abuse are long gone. I picked my B because he was nice and steady and stable...and funny, and handsome...et al. But mostly cuz I respected him and thought he had a terrifically nice soul.


Hugs and congrats Neil!!!


At 11:19 am, Blogger Anh said...

Oh Neil, thank you firsly for the award! And secondly for the braised broad bean recipe. I tried it yesterday, very good!

At 5:34 am, Blogger Gigi said...

OMG ~ thank you so much! And right after I outed myself as a happy existentialist with a possible drinking problem, too. ;D Timing is everything.

The Gordon Ramseys of the world have a certain edgy charm that generally dissipates by morning. Smart women marry nice, and never have cause to regret it.

At 9:15 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aww heck - man, I'm slow off the mark! Thanks so much for the award, I'm totally chuffed that you think I'm nice enough to make the list! :D You'll have to forgive my slackness with reading/commenting but I'm dying with study...argh! Can't wait for it to be over! :P


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