The good people of Mildura here in Victoria had a bit of a win last Wednesday.

The State Government has been searching high and low for a new site for a toxic waste dump to replace the one at Lyndhurst. Nowingi, just out of Mildura in the states north west was short listed as the new site and it appeared to be a fait accompli that trucks would soon be roaring up the highway to deposit their poisonous cargo in huge new pits there. Our State Government was so confident that it would go ahead that they vowed in an election promise to accept the recommendations of an independent panel set up to examine the proposal to set up the new site.

However, even though the Government had had the report since last mid-December, which basically said it wasn't a good idea to site it at Nowingi, it planned up until last Friday to approve the project, when in a meeting someone raised the point that a former minister had made a promise to accept the findings during the last election campaign. In a country where we have core and non core election promises, depending on which way the wind is blowing and the inclination of the newly elected Government, our State Government decided that this was a core promise and should be honoured. So with Lyndhurst filling rapidly, what could the Government do with all the toxic waste?

How about make some of it disappear, let’s say a minimum of thirty percent, maybe more. That’s exactly what the Government has done. With a pen no less. Harry Potter would be so proud.

In the same way that President George Bush is committing more troops to Iraq by calling it a ‘surge’, some of what was formerly toxic waste has been reclassified as non-toxic. You could just imagine the conversation between the minister and his public servant about this one.

M. “Oh dear, what are we going to do now? We have to put the waste somewhere.”

PS. “There just might be somewhere we could put it minister, with no trouble at all.”

M. “And where might that be, the moon?

PS. “Not quite that far away sir, we could put it in one of our regular tips.”

M. “Are you out of your mind man, it’s toxic waste, we can’t do that!”

PS. “But what if it wasn’t toxic waste?”

M. “What on earth do you mean?”

PS. “What if it wasn’t called toxic waste anymore, just plain old regular waste that can go to any tip.”

M. “And just how do we do that?”

PS. “Reclassify it, all you have to do is sign this document and say thirty percent will be taken care of, that’s what we’ll tell the press. Of course if it all goes well there is no reason more can’t be taken care of in the same way.”

M. “It sounds like a great plan, but toxic waste is toxic waste, the public will never buy it.”

PS. “Don’t worry sir, we’ll tell the public that it’s low grade waste from the food industry that is currently classified as toxic, no one will be frightened about that, we should be able to slip a few other things through as well.”

M. “Toxic food waste, what exactly is toxic food waste?”

PS. “I could tell you minister, but then you would no longer have plausible deniability, just never mention toxic and food waste in the same sentence, okay.”

M. “Okay, where do I sign? I’m putting your name forward for a promotion.”

PS “Thank you minister, but working for you is its own reward.”

And that is exactly what has happened. As part of the State Government’s new hazardous waste strategy, a minimum of thirty percent of what is currently classified as toxic waste has been declassified and the only word on what constitutes this waste is that it’s from the food industry.

There is something troubling about this…that the food industry is producing toxic waste and apparently quite a lot of it. What exactly is toxic food waste? Do we need to grow our own food or just stop eating? I’d search for answers, but I suspect none will be forthcoming.