Oh, it's great to have friends.

My mate D. works for a wine retailer and has access to some pretty good bottles of wine. Last Christmas, we went over for breakfast and he produced a bottle of Mumm vintage champagne. Very nice first thing in the morning. Very, very nice. Which for me to say, was a major change of heart. In the eighties Mumm lost the plot, and were producing thin, acidic wines, which if you know anything about French champagne, that means something impossible to enjoy.

We hadn't spoken for a while, when out of the blue D. calls.

"Football has started, time to catch up."

Well football had started, the first games of the pre season competition had been played the previous weekend. Both our teams had lost. Strange he wanted to talk about that. We chatted for a while, when out this popped.

"I went to a wine tasting last night, well really a champagne tasting."

"Did you, which one?"

"The store put one on."

"How was it?"

"Not bad, the wines were pretty good."

"What did you have?"

I'm sure D. was waiting for that

"It was a French tasting, let me tell you about the brackets."

"Okay."

"First was Moet et Chandon against Veuve Clicquot, both non vintage, and the Moet was ahead of the Veuve, but in the next bracket, we had a '98 Veuve against a '99 Moet, and the Veuve was the better wine."

D. is very knowledgeable about wine and really enjoys the subject, he was clearly warming up.

"Next was a Veuve Clicquot Grande Dame '97 up against Dom Perignon '98."

I'm starting to slip here.

"Oh God, how were they?"

"Not bad at all."

D. likes understatement

"But I felt the Veuve was better than the Dom, it had more mouthfeel and the length was better."

I'm drooling here, then D. went for the killer blow.

"There was only one in the last bracket, and it blew everything else away."

Dramatic pause.

"Non vintage Krug."

I'm silently weeping at this point, sometimes you have to just take your medicine.

Or your champagne.